this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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