kristin has been a bad kristin
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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