tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
