Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
