.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
