You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize