I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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