i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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