Quick, to the slutcave!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
