You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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