I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize