We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
