She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Text me some of your sweat
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
