you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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