It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
