this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
