This house was built for laser tag.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize