So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
