This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize