Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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