this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
