i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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