ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize