My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
