I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
