Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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