I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
