you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
