dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
