i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
