Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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