oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Randomize
