I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
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so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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