real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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