ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
