please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
