my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
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I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
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I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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