If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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