I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
