sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
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I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's official drugs can't kill me
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
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Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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