franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
