Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
