There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
