I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize