Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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