He is an equal opportunity slut.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
