I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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