I'm lost and stupid without you.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
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There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
they're like a gay fantastic four
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
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If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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