I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
