I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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