I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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