Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
