it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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