Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
