I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
