I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
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The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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