Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize