I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
