Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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