Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
