The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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