I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
