did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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