Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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